


Making Memories

by UntoldHarmony



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Family, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 00:57:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21007049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UntoldHarmony/pseuds/UntoldHarmony
Summary: October 31st was memorable for all of the wrong reasons and Hermione decided to change that.





	Making Memories

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [HalloweenHarmonyComp2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/HalloweenHarmonyComp2019) collection. 

> This piece was written for Harmony and Co's Double, Double, Toil, and Trouble Halloween Fest. All canon characters, plots, dialogue, and situations from the Harry Potter series belongs to JK Rowling.

It was like clockwork.

As the days grew shorter and the nights grew longer; as the air turned crisp and the temperatures began to drop; as the leaves changed colour and started to fall from the trees, Hermione would notice a change in her best friend.

It happened gradually, but still, it happened.

Year after year for all the years she had known him.

Like clockwork.

Whenever summer made way for autumn, _something_ settled in Harry.

It started as _shortness_ and _irritation_. He would lose his patience easier as the end of September rolled around. Aurors would do anything to avoid going into Commander Potter's office during this time as to not anger the lion. Harry was never one to yell when he was upset so his subordinates were treated to icy stares and chilling whispers instead. Many of his Aurors commented that going into his office this time of year was akin to going into a cave in the freezing tundra. There was no warmth in that place and it wasn't because of Harry Potter's tendency to leave his windows open.

Then came the _retreat_. By mid-October, Harry was seen less and less. He would show up for work for he's a dedicated Auror, but any further social interactions outside of plans with his godson were cancelled abruptly. He would withdraw into himself and wouldn't let anyone in, not even Hermione. There was one year where he completely went away on his own without telling _anybody_. He was gone for two weeks with not a single owl and returned home to find a very frantic and worried witch. Needless to say that he received a very stern talking to. He didn't do _that_ again, but every year thereafter he would find a way to fall back and pull out in his own way.

And when the last week of October would come around, when Muggle front porches were fully decorated with ghosts and ghouls, when pumpkin farms exhausted their yields, and witches and wizards started their preparation for Samhain, it settled. A cloud so dark and heavy would roll in and block out the sun. He would turn moody, angry… and sad. Incredibly sad.

Hermione knew why. She wasn't considered the brightest witch of her age for nothing.

Halloween, Samhain, Beltane, or whatever else it was called and however else it was observed, October 31st remained to be a very difficult day for Harry Potter.

It was the day he earned that vile epithet for it was the day his parents died.

And he had carried that cross ever since for October 31st was memorable for all of the wrong reasons.

* * *

She found him in the first place she looked. The Muggle repellant wards around the cemetery kept it empty save for a single soul. Not many magicals lived in the area anymore but Harry had allowed Muggles to take residence in the village after the deed was signed to his name. She sensed other protective enchantments around the place and half expected them to keep her away. But Hermione felt her magic touch the wards around Godric's Hollow's cemetery and they let her in.

The air was crisp and the night was dark. She shivered underneath her coat and cradled the bouquet of flowers close to her chest. She headed to the centre of St. Jerome's graveyard towards the figure sat in front of a headstone.

She knew that he knew she was there. He hunched a little lower as she approached and she saw his fist tighten by his side.

"I'd like to be alone, Hermione. Please." She heard him whisper.

"If that were the case, you wouldn't have let _anyone_ in," she replied in a soft admonition. _Not even me_, she added silently. She sat next to him and rested the flowers against the stone. She could clearly see the two identical lines carved on the white marble.

DIED 31 OCTOBER 1981

"Hello James, hello Lily," she greeted. Hermione felt Harry tense beside her. "I'm sorry I couldn't visit you for your birthday, James, but I was away on a business trip to France at that time. A lot has happened since my last visit, actually. I think I told you last that I was working really hard for a possible promotion? Well, I got it! I'm now the Deputy Chief Healer at St. Mungo's. My goal is to try and modernize the practices at the hospital, but it's been challenging. You know how witches and wizards are, always so traditional," she said with a wry smile. "There was this new book written by Mary Macdondald. I think she was in your year, Lily? She introduced a lot of new techniques for healing that involves elements of Muggle surgery. It's brilliant, and it offers a lot of ideas that don't just require the use of potions or draughts to treat magical maladies..."

Harry listened silently, more in awe of what was happening than what he was hearing. He already knew all of what Hermione had told his parents, but he didn't know Hermione visited them. And it sounded like she did so frequently. Or at least, more than he.

Maybe she was the one who left the flowers he had vanished after his arrival. They were peonies too, just like the flowers she brought with her tonight.

"I'm not sure Harry told you already," he heard her say. He looked up to see her looking at him with a small smile. "We're planning a holiday over Yule. But we can't decide where to go yet. I suggested going to Italy or Spain. I had always wanted to visit Rome for its rich history and culture. I especially wanted to go to Vatican City to see all of the art and incredible cathedrals. Your son, however," she tsked playfully before continuing, "he said he wanted to go somewhere warm. Somewhere in the Carribean, like Mexico or Cuba. I'm not sure how we'll come to a compromise."

"What are you doing?" His question stopped her short and Hermione turned her gaze to him. He was looking at her with curious and sad eyes.

"Talking to them," she replied simply. "I like to visit and let them know what's been going on."

"I didn't… I didn't know you visited them..." Harry trailed off, not knowing exactly what to say.

Hermione shrugged. She brought her knees up to her chest and gazed back at the headstone.

"I like coming here," she admitted, looking around the graveyard. "It's peaceful. And… and they shouldn't be forgotten. By coming here I feel like I'm doing my part in keeping their memory alive."

"Do you usually come here… today? I've never seen you here before."

Hermione's shoulders dropped at his question. She avoided visiting the grave on this day because she knew it was the only time Harry would go.

She remembered looking for him one Halloween many years ago. It was the Halloween of the year the war ended. She couldn't find him anywhere. He wasn't in his flat or in Hogwarts or at the Ministry. He wasn't in the Burrow either or visiting with Teddy. Something drew her to Godric's Hollow and she apparated into the restored Potter cottage. It was empty, but some of his things were inside. She found herself at the graveyard after that.

She saw him, but she kept her distance. He hadn't cast a Muggle repelling charm that time around, so St. Jerome's was holding a Halloween activity for the village children. Kids in their scary costumes mostly stuck close to the church, but some of them did wander into the cemetery. They steered clear of the middle though, for even subconsciously they could feel the magic that was telling _everybody_ to go away.

He was disillusioned as he knelt in front of the grave. Only those who knew what to look for could see him, so Hermione saw. He was like a repenting angel at the feet of God. He knelt, head bowed, hands in fists at his sides, and his shoulders were shaking. She watched as Harry wept in front of his dead parents and heard as he told them that it was all over. She also heard as he gave James and Lily his apology.

He was sorry that everything happened. He was sorry for their deaths… and sorry for his existence. He felt that him being born into the world led to their demise.

And, he added, it felt as though he was wasting their sacrifice.

She wanted to shake his shoulders and tell him he was wrong. She wanted to shout at him for even thinking such a thing when _none_ of what happened was his fault.

But she kept her distance because she knew it was what he wanted. She knew she was intruding into a private moment that she was never meant to see.

Heavy-hearted, Hermione turned and walked away that Halloween night. But she made a promise to herself, and to James and Lily, that she would show Harry he was wrong one way or another.

The more she worked towards her promise, the deeper her feelings grew. The more she showed Harry that he mattered, the more _he_ mattered to _her_.

Everything clicked during the past Yule. She was there at the cemetery visiting James and Lily after the Christmas festivities. Harry had taken Teddy on a holiday and Hermione was telling them about it.

"Your son is spoiling his godson!" Hermione said with a small smile. She wrapped the self-heating blanket around herself as the snow fell around the graveyard. "They're going to _Disneyland_. And no, not the one in Paris, but the one in California! They took Muggle transportation there and Harry had just sent me a text this morning that they've landed. Teddy is so excited but we had to keep telling him that he cannot change his appearance while out in public. He promised to keep his favourite," she said. She fished out her mobile phone from her robe and turned the screen towards the headstone. "See? He looks exactly like a mini Harry," Hermione whispered softly. She looked at the photo she took just two days ago and smiled. It was taken after Harry gave Teddy his present and told him they'd be going on holiday. Teddy was very excited, but the only downside to the whole ordeal was that his favourite "Auntie Minny" wasn't going with them because of work. Hermione watched as his green eyes turned brown and he flung himself into her side. She promised him she would miss him dearly and would be waiting for them to get back. Once Teddy had calmed down and was back to smiles and laughter, she snapped a photo of him in his godfather's arms. The two were laughing and looked identical except for the young boy's eyes.

"He's going to be a great father," Hermione continued in a whisper. "He told me he wanted to adopt Teddy, legally and magically. He was going to ask Teddy about it over holiday. It should… it should make things easier. Andromeda is getting old in age and Teddy doesn't have anybody else. Harry loves him unconditionally," Hermione stated. Her eyes softened like it always does when she spoke about Harry. "He's wonderful, you know? He's so hardworking and dedicated. He's a great Auror and I know he's making waves in the Ministry for his progressive ideas. He's the best friend anybody could ever ask for. He's so selfless and giving. Do you know what he got me for Christmas?" Hermione asked with a wry grin. "A first edition _The Subtle Art of Healing_ by Mungo Bonham himself! I almost dropped it in shock! It is just like your son to be so _ridiculous_! And… and thoughtful," she added. "He understands me… and knows me so well. More than any other person," she admitted.

She looked at the picture once more and felt her heart beat. Teddy looked just like Harry except for his eyes. They were _her_ eyes and the sight of _what could be_ drew a gasp from Hermione.

It was like everything fell into place and immediately she knew.

"Hermione?" She was pulled from her thoughts by the soft whisper of her name. She looked towards Harry to see him looking so sad and unhappy.

"I don't… I don't go here during Halloween," Hermione answered. Harry nodded his head.

"I thought so," he said. He turned his gaze back to the stone. "I can't help but think it's all of my fault, you know?"

Hermione closed her eyes and sighed. He took her silence as a nod to continue. "I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I was never born. I know it's stupid to think about but… they wouldn't have had to die for me. People always told me they had such bright futures. They could have done great things in the world if… if…"

"If _Voldemort_ hadn't killed them," Hermione said sharply. "None of this was your fault, Harry. And you're doing them a disservice by thinking that their sacrifice was for nought. They loved you. James and Lily wouldn't want you thinking like this."

From the corner of her eyes, she watched him shrug and then contemplate her words.

After a few minutes of silence, he suddenly asked. "What changed?"

Confused, she looked at him. She saw him crack the smallest of smiles as he clarified. "What changed this year that you decided to come here tonight?"

Hermione thought hard about his question. What changed was her understanding of how much Harry meant to her. What changed was that she could no longer stand aside and watch him grieve alone. She respected his wishes then, but not anymore. She needed him to understand that his existence mattered because he was important to _her_.

And perhaps the only way to drive home her point was to tell Harry what she had been holding onto since last Yule.

Hermione smiled. "I wanted to tell James and Lily something."

"Oh?" Harry said. Her answer piqued his interest and he looked at her with raised eyebrows.

Hermione kept her gaze steady on the headstone and nodded. "James, Lily, I've probably bored you with my stories-" she heard Harry let out a small laugh and she smiled, "-but please bear with me since I wanted to tell you about one more. It's about that guy I kept talking about." Harry was silent and from the corner of her eyes, she saw him frown.

She turned her attention back to the marble. "He and I have known each other for a long time and, frankly, I've been silly. I didn't realize just how much he meant to me until recently-"

"Hermione, _why_ are you telling my parents about _some bloke_," Harry interrupted, a clear sign of irritation in his voice.

She pursed her lips and gave him a small glare. "Because I've been talking to your parents about him for ages and they deserve to know!"

"Know what?" Harry said in an almost agonized whisper.

"That I've fallen in love with him!" She shouted. Wide-eyed and with ragged breath, she looked away from Harry's stunned face and regarded the headstone. "I love him, James and Lily," she whispered. "So much that it hurts when I see him hurting. He is so important to me that it pisses me right off when he doesn't realize his worth and says _stupid_ and _ridiculous_ things." Her hand felt along the cold grass and grasped his shaking one. He tried to move his hand away but she held on tightly. His hand was shaking, but it was warm, and it was that warmth that Hermione concentrated on as she continued.

"I love your son so much and I promise you I'll take care of him," she whispered.

It seemed like everything stilled. The wind. The rustling of the trees. Everything stopped except for their wildly beating hearts.

She didn't dare look at him. Hermione kept her gaze on the headstone, reading the carved words on it over and over again. It was only the gentle feel of his thumb running circles at the back of her hand which finally made her look at Harry.

His eyes were bright with intensity, the sadness in them overshadowed by something else entirely. Harry held her eyes with his as he brought her hand to his mouth. Hermione shuddered when he kissed her fist before he interlaced his fingers with hers and rested them atop his knee.

They sat on the grass in silence for what felt like an eternity. Hermione kept her gaze on the stone though everything was a blur. She finally closed her eyes as her mind raced to come up with all of the different things that Harry could possibly say.

He let go of her hand and Hermione prepared herself to respond at his next words. Instead, she heard the rustling of grass and she felt his knee touch hers. One arm wrapped around her back and rested on her opposite shoulder. She felt herself being drawn into his warmth and instinctively her arm wrapped around his waist.

"Mum, Dad," Harry whispered. Hermione stilled and listened, her eyes strained on the grass. "I couldn't help but feel guilty about it all. For the longest time, I felt that I was responsible for… for your deaths, and for the deaths of others. I didn't understand why _I_ was here and… you're not," he said. Hermione felt her eyes water and she squeezed him tighter. "After all, you died protecting _me_. Sirius died because of _me_. Remus and Tonks died fighting a war because of _me_."

"Harry," Hermione whimpered.

He sighed and continued. "I felt that I couldn't, _shouldn't_, be allowed to live a happy life because that would be unfair to everyone who is gone," he said. Hermione shook her head frantically from his side and he pulled her close. "But I know how wrong that is now. Because, Mum, Dad, I found someone I want to live for. I want her to be happy and I don't think she will be until _I_ am," he said with a soft chuckle. "Hermione only deserves the best, and I want to be that for her. I love her."

She gasped and her head jerked up from his side. There were tears in those jade green eyes which made them sparkle more against the starry, black night. A small smile was on his lips and she watched tendrils of his hair dance in the wind.

Slowly he lowered his head and Hermione closed her eyes. His lips touched hers and she sighed against the kiss.

It was soft, and it was gentle, and it tasted salty for they were both crying. His lips were chapped from the cold, as were hers, but Hermione didn't care. She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him closer. He gasped against her lips and cradled the back of her head with his hand. His other hand rested at the small of her back.

They withdrew from each other but remained wrapped in each other's arms. They stayed there for a while longer in the presence of their loved ones before Harry drew Hermione to her feet. As the day officially ended, they said their goodbyes to the dead and left the graveyard hand in hand.

* * *

It happened gradually, but still, it happened.

Year after year for all the years after that one Halloween.

Something changed.

The following year they took Teddy with them. After the boy had had his fill from trick-or-treating, Teddy Lupin Potter accompanied Harry and Hermione to the graveyard to visit his adopted grandparents. Harry tentatively introduced the boy to his mum and dad and visibly sighed in relief when the child, dressed as a Muggle vampire, started to animatedly chat with "Grandma and Grandpa Potter". Hermione watched Harry as he watched Teddy. There was still sadness in those eyes of his - she didn't think that would ever go away - but there was acceptance in there too, and understanding, and even a small hint of happiness.

The year after that they couldn't make it to the cemetery on October 31st. Hermione was heavily pregnant and was well past her due date that Harry didn't want to leave her side or risk taking her away from home. They made up for it by bringing little Lilliana Rose some months later to introduce her to her grandparents. Older brother Teddy doted on his little sister and gushed about how _awesome_ she was. Hermione watched her husband regard the scene with tears in his eyes.

The following year saw a decked out Lilly Rose in a pumpkin costume with her brother in a matching one. Hermione had to laugh at how they looked. They made quite a pair as they strolled through Godric's Hollow in their bright orange costumes with Lilly in Teddy's arms. She watched from afar as Harry joined in on retelling stories in front of the headstone with his two pumpkins sat on either side.

Year after year, more memories were created.

Year after year, the sadness dissipated.

And year after year, Hermione said thanks to the two people who made her family possible.

Harry grabbed her hand and beamed at her. She smiled back and reached over to ruffle Ethan James' hair as he sat perched on his dad's hip. She felt Lilly grab her other hand and Hermione smiled when she noticed that her daughter was already holding onto her older brother's hand too. She winked at Teddy and he rolled his eyes playfully. He was Lilly's favourite after all.

Together they made their way out of Godric's Hollow's graveyard as two stars twinkled prominently in the sky.


End file.
